"I started getting into trouble with the law around the age of 14 or 15, then I spent half of my life in jail. My Mum and Dad broke up when I was real young. Then my Mum’s second husband was a violent man, so there was violence from him when I was younger, violence against me and my Mother. I got picked on at school and I started getting accused of stealing, and all of that at the public school. So, then I thought ‘if you're gonna accuse me of it’ I might as well go out and thieve and shit.
Yeah, you know, if you're already calling me the black sheep, might as well be the black sheep. Then there was violence in the street that I was doing and receiving. Then more violence when I went to jail, because I didn't think about the repercussions. I was in my early 20s when I went to jail and that was for thefts, assaults, prohibited weapons, knives, blades, yeah."
Self Portraits
Seeking Redemption
I am the raped and pillaged
broken and in despair
hoping to be repaired
and hoping to be better.
Seeking redemption
from a broken system.
"This represents how I’ve been pulled apart mentally, and physically, and just constant thoughts all over the place; my heads not in one spot. It started when I was growing up, I was bashed and all that trying to protect mum. And learning different moral standards, once again, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Feeling raped and pillaged, not literally, but that's the way I feel.
It was tougher from the beginning, but as I grew older, I started to see things differently about society. You know, there's the rich and then there's everybody else. In the picture I’ve got my longer hair because it is like my strength building, you know, that back up. It's just my own, sort of thing, like my inner peace, my hope, you know. If I look after it, I can try and look after my life a little better."
More Self Portraits
Time Inside
“Time stands still when you’re inside. Your life inside is just standing still, yeah, compared to the outside, where everything’s a rush. It's a mess, but you're just in there getting older, rotting away, and when you don't move spiders will come and make their webs.
Then there is the bit of rope, like breaking free from the system, and being a free bird, metaphorically speaking.”
My Energy
Dark Clouds and Lightning
"Oh, that one was like how I was feeling today. It's a miserable day outside, the clouds, the storm, the dark clouds. the lightning, and the bottom of it is just like my head, just all over the place, it's all, it's all chaos."
The Layers of My Life
From Childhood to Prison
"The bottom is my childhood, like the black stuff, a little bit of red in there for the violence. I’d say in adulthood it's all been jail with bloody, it's got bits of red in there for the violence, then the circles for prison. I'm out of the system now and hoping to be better, but they still keep you locked inside mentally.
When you're free, you're not actually free, because they're always looking at you, trying to get you for something, [yeah], trying to just harass you and all that sort of thing. It’s the constant harassment, they might see me, run me down pat me down, search me and all that, put me on show in front of everyone here."
It’s Changing from Green to Yellow
"After being locked up its changing from green into the yellow, where it's brighter, having hope, or whatever.
Green’s the prison, the system, and all that yellow up the top ‘change'."
My Journey
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
"The bottom corner is like a rock, and in jail we have a saying that it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, yeah, that’s what I tried to do in this drawing. You’ve got the crossroads in front of you, then I did yellow at the top for hope. It’s about me trying to choose the right path.
But when you think you’re on the right path, it's like, damned if you do, damned if you don't. I’m trying to choose another path but that’s where I'm not sure. Cos I'm still on the edge of trying to choose one path over the other. You're trying to choose but the police come around, harass you, intimidate you, and they want to fuck you up."
My Experience of the Criminal Legal System
The System is Broken It Can’t Be Fixed
"Up the top left is the hammer thing judges have. There's the scars from that even if the innocent outweighs the guilt, they just find a way to bring you down. The dog is there for how they treat you, giving you very little, just pretty much bread and water. There’s the butterfly, that's a metaphor for having hope, yeah, having a better perspective looking at the outside.
The red and orange represents how the system is broken; it can't be fixed it's already so messed up. Around it all is the barbed wire. Even when you’re outside it you still have the harassment, the abuse. Even when you are free, like the butterfly, that’s still all around you, just playing along, it’s like you’re set up, just to fuck with you."