"My parents came here as war refugees. Mum and Dad were always working so I didn’t go to school much. I liked getting out on the street, just doing whatever, anything to get an adrenaline rush. I couldn’t sit in one spot for too long, but it was before ADHD so the teachers just said I was a troublemaker. There was a group of us and we'd be down the bush, riding motorbikes, just jumping off whatever. Seeing who could go the highest, or whatever. It was hard coming to a new country; you try and fit in. There was racism and I was racist. I was just hanging around Aussies. You’d hear people talking along about different languages back then. They’d say “you're in Australia now, Wog, speak Australian.
”I got into trouble when I was about 11 for jumping school, and I was put into boys’ homes. I was hurt in those places; some were worse than others. One place you got bashed on the first night, and given a bucket to shit in. I was sent to adult prison when I was 16, I was always trying to escape and getting locked up, escaping, and getting locked up. I was jailed for everything except sex offenses or hitting women, none of that, but everything else. I’ve spent most of my life in jail. I got out a few years ago, but it’s really hard. I went inside in my early 20s, I still feel that age, but I don't look it."
Self Portraits
My heads all over the place
I have a go at things
I’m good at fixing things
I wish I had more education
I’ve been alright since
I’ve been out of jail,
I’ve been doing alright, but
lately though I’ve been in one
of them downers
When I come out of it
I’ll be on the go again.
“That's just how my head felt, it was all over the place, my mind was just racing, head’s just racing. Music can help, but nothings right in my head. I’ve lost memories of when I felt alright, because I was locked up for so long, that's it.”
More Self Portraits
I'm Looking in all Directions
“It's not, it's not looking in one direction, because I’m being watched from every direction it didn’t matter where I went. Now that I’m out, it's not normal, because every 100 feet or so there's a camera in the street.
It’s hard to forget that you weren’t allowed out of the yard without getting escorted. When I move the Police check on me, they check to see if I’m alright but the problem is still there.
I’m the problem. And even now I’m not free because I can’t go anywhere without permission.”
My Energy
Little Bursts of Energy
"Yeah, that my energy all over the place, little bits of energy just drained out. Yeah, just not feeling like you can do anything.
There’s quick bursts of energy, then feeling drained."
The Layers of My Life
The layers of my life
"Blue is now and depression and just sort of forgetting things. I used to have a business and I liked hanging out with straighties, because they’re not thinking about crime or drugs or anything, I don’t need that, did enough of that myself. The blue is being sad.
Red-brown is Jail, always running hot, getting chased somewhere, or doing something wrong. Yellow is childhood, it means sunshine; it was all right, because we were always like riding our bikes, racing cops or whatever, always feeling that hyped up energy."
Childhood, Prison, Now
“The yellow is childhood again, maybe feeling good, the orange is prison all hyped up, my heads racing everywhere.
Blue is now, feeling sad.”
My Journey
Always hitting sharp corners
"I’m going up the road, and always going off the deep end, going off sharp corners, in that brown, I’m hitting sharp corners, always. It stops when I’m locked up, and then the sad blue sky.
That’s my journey, every time I'm on the road, I'm always going off the road. Whatever I do, I'm always hitting sharp corners."
My Experience of the Criminal Legal System
I Was Looking at the Gate
"When I was in prison, that's all I could see that black, and I was always looking at the gate or the front, whatever door that I could walk out of. You know I used to train from let go between 6.30 – 8am, till quarter to three, I’d just do free weights. I loved chin ups. I could do about 20 sets of chin ups, that’s how I could climb, that's all I thought about, getting out. I just wanted out!"
All I Saw Was Black
"It’s all black lines for the yards, that's all I've seen in prison, because I wasn't allowed to work or anything, because of what I did in the escape. But I was always ready for any opening anything to get out."
I'm Rattling the Bars
"I'm in jail, rattling the cage, and I'm always trying to make keys to open the gates, because I used to be able to make keys. I’m locked up, all you see is this black, and the red is about how you’re always hyped up, ready for whatever."
I'm Being Watched From Every Direction
"I was being watched from every direction; it didn't matter where I went. They wouldn't let me out of their sight, even when I was in segro for two and a half years, and anywhere the squad took me, to special units and other prisons."