"I grew up on a mission and there was a lot of drinking and a lot of smoking marijuana and a lot of violence, you know. Dad was an alcoholic, and he ended up in prison a few times for driving a motor vehicle while intoxicated. When I was a kid, we used to just take things for fun. You know, it was just a bet, dare, and we’d take stuff from shops, stands, bloody bus stops, yeah, taxi ranks, anywhere and everywhere, you know. I couldn’t sit still in school and that made it difficult, I really only liked sport. I was first in trouble with the law for stealing stuff and I went to boys’ home from 13 to 17.
We got bashed in there, when you were sitting down, they’d pull you up to standing by your hair and there was worse. There was a female guard in there who wanted dirty little favours. You know, for the last four years or five years, after I got out, I didn't ever worry about it, but the boys kept getting on to me, you know, and saying, you should fill out for the money. You need to fill out for the money. So, it took me from the start to just last week to fill out for it, you know."
Self Portrait
There's a Screw Loose
On one side, I put nails or screws in his head;
there are screws missing.
People say that I have screws missing.
On the other side, its noughts and crosses
he's always thinking, always working out puzzles.
he’s always thinking, always thinking.
Then he’s come to an understanding,
Or a resolution in his head, he’s got a solution.
The #’s are noughts and crosses - like a quiz
Or things that I’m stuck on,
but I’m smiling, I’ve come to a resolution.
I smile about that, ‘he’s got a screw missing’
I agree, I suppose, but I always seem
To come out OK, like I’ve stayed out of prison.
"People say that I've got a screw missing, or I’ve got bolts missing. But I smile because I always seem to come out alright. Like for the last 5 years I’ve stayed out of prison, and its connection that has kept me out. I've connected with really good friends that don't go to prison, but they have been to prison. It’s their strengths and their understanding and their - what they do with themselves. It’s how they hold themselves in in the community, and it helps me, you know."
My Energy
Freedom, Freedom, Freedom
"That's the ocean, and its freedom, freedom, yeah, freedom. I love the ocean, and it’s probably the waves of different emotions.
Most days are good days for me. Some days when I get these other emotions, like sadness, anger, depression, I have to sit with them and let them go over me like a wave, you know."
It's a Rainbow of Emotion
"That was about the energy, all entangling them, energy. That was like my anxiety, caught up in depression. There's days where I want to, I don't want to be here on this planet, you know, yeah.
I just feel like those days - I’m just caught with so many different mood swings, like the, you know, so many different things going through my head, and it just comes on.
It just comes on, yeah, yeah. It's like a rainbow of emotions."
The Layers of My Life
Blue, Green and Brown
"The blue lines are the wind, and the coppers, they’ve got me, and the brown is the land. The light blue is freedom and the dark blue is the coppers. That represents the police after me and the blues in my head. The misery that you know, the worries.
Then the green, that’s me being in prison, being confined in, in prison in greens. The brown circles, for, me are the mission, where I lived; the hill it’s a round hill, and I lived on that round hill.
It's all about family. You know when it rains, our creek fills up down the bottom, nice and muddy. We used to go and chase eels and get quails, and turtles.
We'd eat the quails and turtles, but when we caught an eel we skinned him and we put him in the fire, then cook him up that day for the old uncles, yeah, they love the eel."
The Hardest Thing For Me Was Seeing My Dad Taken Away
"Yes, I started off good in my life, like the blue is a good one, it's a good thing. But the dark blue and green, that’s the coppers and prison. So, the blue is for both ways. Probably the red would be for the blood, and the orange is the stress.
You know, the police always had something to do with our family. And I think, you know, a real big thing for me was when I saw my dad getting taken away, when I was little. And that’s really hard for a child, and you’re not supposed to be angry, you know, you’re supposed to be happy.
But I think that was scary, and it made me angry as well. And going to see him in prison, it was hard for my mum and us to go and see him in prison. I remember as a kid, like seven or eight or nine, we, me and mum, and our brother and sisters, we missed the train a couple of times.
Then we had to stay in town in a place, it was like just a room. I think Mum would get it through St Vinnies, or one of those places, you know."
My Journey
It Is Something I’ll Never Forget
"At the top that’s me behind bars, then on top of that are gravesites on the hill at home on the mission, that’s where I’d like to be buried. They’re on top of me because for the last 10 years I’ve been thinking of death, it’s always coming into my mind. I suppose because there's been a lot of death in prison, Aboriginal people and some that I'm related to, and I just wouldn't like to go that way. But when I do, I'd rather head home, and get put to rest on the hill near where I grew up.
Then there’s the bird, the toucan bird, he's sitting in the bottlebrush tree; it's a golden bottlebrush tree. I never thought there was a toucan bird in Australia, but when I went up to Black Rocks National Park, I saw that bird and it was a really beautiful thing. I went there for two nights, the first night we could hear this bird with a really long whistle and a crack at the end of it. There was that bird, and in the background was the moon, it was a really full moon. Then when we had tea, there were two kangaroos, a little brown kangaroo about a meter high, and a grey kangaroo about 1.2 meters, and we were feeding them the fat off the meat we’d brought with us.
I went swimming at five o'clock the next morning and the sun was just starting to come up over the ocean. The water was nice and warm, and I was in for about 40 minutes. When I got out on the black rocks there were those same two kangaroos! It’s something that I’ll never forget, you know, it was really a beautiful moment."
My Experience of the Criminal Legal System
Acceptance Is The Key
"There’s the key and bridge to freedom, and staying free. The green squares are prison and getting out of prison. Open up the cell door and let me find my way to freedom, to my place.
Acceptance is the key to all of my problems, before I couldn’t accept anything. That building is where we lived on the mission and those figures are my family.
I love going back home, and I love connecting back to the country, back to where I grew up. It's like when I’m there, my head settles, I feel well, its got a homely feeling."