"I was adopted at six weeks old to a loving family, I had a brother and sister and my older brother was biological, but me and my sister were adopted. We lived by a big river. When I first started getting into trouble it was for things like nicking the milk money to buy lollies. Then I stole larger amounts of money and I went to boys’ home when I’d just turned14, and I was hurt there. I always had too much energy and it was hard to sit still. I loved sport, it was the only thing I was good at.
I grew up by the river, yeah, pretty much everyone that knew us would leave their BMXs in our backyard so they could go down the river to have a swim. So, a lot of people going in and out you know. We’d smoke marijuana, drink alcohol, then I got into coke and heroin. I liked heroin the most, it just shut everything down, the struggle and always being behind the eight ball. Maybe those struggles were because I was adopted into a white family, and I was pretty much the only black fella at my school, and it hurt being called names and whatnot, you know."
Self Portraits
Box Head
I’m up and I’m down
Happy and sad, 2 parts of me
Boxhead is me being a thick head
I’m really hard on myself at times.
I was born in the RPA
My Mother was 14 when she had me.
She put me up for adoption at 6 weeks
To loving white people
I miss them a lot.
The things they gave me to keep
In my journey in life
The morals and principles that they lived by.
I’m in my fifties now
I like to run, ride, and swim
I see other men my age, and
Gee Wizz, I’m not doing too bad!
"You know where I got that thought from? Yeah, emojis, you know, emoji faces and one side of my mouth is up and one's down. Well, and at times you could be happy, and at times you could be shattered. Boxhead, that's me, being a thick head, you know."
Another Self Portrait
It's About Two Sides of Me
"See those flowers? I designed them when I was at Eastbay jail, when I used to write to the mother of my children, and that's how I’d address all my letters. This one is about showing two sides of your personality, one side is, you know, happy and good, and the other side, like sad and lonely and depressed. I’m trying to balance those two things in my life.
It’s especially hard for someone like me, I get confused pretty quickly because I was in custody so long, some things have changed and I get upset with myself because I don't understand. But I'm glad I have a really good relationship with my psychologist, so I can talk about these things, and it's the first time in my life I've spoken about them, yeah."
My Energy
I Have a Lot of Love to Give
"Yeah, love hearts and flowers. That's because I've got a lot of love to give someone, and my life is in a better place at the moment.
And I have a lot of energy, Yes, my energy is, yeah, it's up there 110 plus!"
The Goodness and the Warmness
"Well, it's combined into pretty much the, the goodness and the warmness those two feelings. It can become very humbling. Like, yeah, that's the way I feel anyway. It’s starting to come good, because at times in my life, I could not take no for an answer, and I could not understand a lot of things, and it got me into a lot of trouble. But I can talk about it now, yeah, yeah."
The Layers of My Life
The Colours of My Life
"Yes, that's the colours of my life. Yellow means brightness in my life. Blue is your mood, depression. And in the middle that's pretty much after the yellow way, [yeah].
Happy, and then the blue, the blue, for me, started very early. The orange is now, like reality and it's not it's not easy, in the sense of having independence, and the hardest is budgeting, things are so expensive.
Especially when you haven't got a job and a stable income, you do struggle. That shape underneath the colours that’s the two sides of your face. Okay, one part of me, one side can be humble, warm, and loving. Then on the other side, there can be a lot of heartache and pain, and a lot of lot of anger, yeah."
My Journey
The Grass is Always Greener
"I always thought the grass was greener on the other side. Yeah, you know, there's more love outside than what there is inside. Yeah, just looking at things in a good way. The blue that’s just depression in your life that's always there, yeah. The black crosses, they’re a very dark time in my life, finding out my identity when I was 27, that’s when I found my Mum. It wasn't easy. I didn't get a lot of love and affection from my Mother. I met my Mum in the pub, that wasn't a good time.
I was more upset than anything, because I thought she just wanted me to sit there because I had money and I could shout beers. It was very disappointing, she didn't want me to cuddle her, yeah, no, I didn't get none of that. Those green crosses are ‘the grass is greener’ having that hope is what keeps me alive."
My Experience of the Criminal Legal System
Looking, Looking, Looking
"Looking, looking, looking, looking at the world in your life, in a good way, and in a bad way. Well, your eyes are pretty much everything, they’re your learning tool in life, aren't they, your eyes? And it's how you take it all in. It took me a bloody long time to realize that jail is nothing but a mugs game. I remember mum telling me off at 27, and I'd already spent more time in custody than I'd spent with a natural born life on the outside.
And I wish I listened to my grandma and my mum a little bit more and been shown that I could do it right, and I did do it, I made it. Yeah, because I haven't kept too many promises to my family but now I’m getting to know my grandchildren. I can see how lonely I was not having an identity. I don't ever want that to happen to my grandchildren. Yeah, my two daughters Mum is white and they struggled with it, but they love their culture, their aboriginal culture."